Life is a Parade of Mistakes
by Shiny Ryuichi Sakuma
Summary: SLASH/YAOI! Post Dogma; deals with the pain and suffering that Loki and Bartleby feel in their seperate places and God's wish for them to be joined


Title: Life is a Parade Full of Mistakes  
  
summary: Post Dogma; deals with the pain and suffering that Loki and Bartleby feel in their seperate places and God's wish for them to be joined  
  
warnings: boy x boy love  
  
disclaimers: not mine  
  
Chapter 1  
  
God watched with a smile playing on her lips, her hair billowing in the breezes of Eden, balancing precariously on one foot. Flowers were attached to the brown tresses, giving her an almost child-like appearance. However, she could feel a deep sorrow radiating. She had connected herself to the two renegade angels and so, was aware of their emotions. It was disconcerting. God paused in what she was doing and honed in on her bond with Loki and Bartleby.  
  
The former Angel of Death was despondent, pain and self-hatred inflicting his soul. God sighed, moving to to Bartleby. There was self-loathing, again, combined with a consuming guilt and sadness that caused God to wince in sympathy. There was nothing she could do. She would not interfere with their lives but this entire ordeal betwixt her two angels was becoming distracting.  
  
Bartleby had killed Loki; something Bartleby would never forget. He had murdered his best friend in cold blood all because Loki didn't agree with what he was doing. God knew Bartleby fought the desire to end it all. He could, after all, he was mortal. After the entire Incident, God had forgiven Bartleby enough to not banish him to Hell but instead, to become human and live a life on Earth. God kept constant tabs on Bartleby and she was secure enough in her beliefs that he wouldn't commit suicide or find Bethany and her daughter, Lina to try and overtake Heaven again.  
  
As for Loki, the more innocent angel had also been sentenced to life as a mortal. God had allowed Loki the chance to keep in contact with her at all times. Loki was a gardener at God's most treasured church. God sank to the grass, playing with the bud of daisy. She wasn't angry anymore, that had deserted her when Bartleby had said he was sorry and meant it right before she took her judgment. She cared greatly for her converted angels and was determined to make them happy.  
  
God rose to her feet, crossed the Garden of Eden to join Metatron. She didn't need to talk to convey her message for Metatron nodded wearily, rolling his eyes and disappearing. God's eyes crinkled merrily as her grin exploded. The two wouldn't have time to even think about the 'chance' encounter and how it came about.  
  
~ @ ~  
  
Loki dusted the dirt from his knees, the smudges of mulch staining the denim. He pursed his lips in annoyance. For a year and a half he had been attending the garden at Jaune Eglisia. It was definitely worthy of God's grace. Loki stretched his arms above his head, smiling in greeting to one of the chaplains. The younger man waved in return, heading for the Bell Tower. Loki picked up his discarded shirt, slipping it on as a sudden gush of wind swept past him.  
  
It was nearing September, autumn would be making her presence known further. Already, the trees' leaves were changing into brilliant colors. The bees still droned lazily from flower to flower, the birds trilled jovially in the branches, the fragrances wafted through the air currents. Loki felt comfortable and at ease at these times of day when the sun was almost setting below the distant mountain peaks. The golden underbellies of clouds skimmed the fading rays. As an angel, Loki was permitted to feel but now that he was human he could hold a velvet rose in his palm and relish in the smoothe texture.  
  
Loki followed the stone path to a tower of Jaune Eglisia that had been set aside just for him by Father Orion; one of those mortals whom Metatron spoke with. The stone door scraped the floor, a noise that used to irritate Loki considerably but had gotten to be one of the few sounds that he associated with home. It was nice to have a place he could call that; he never had before. Even in Heaven, it had been that way. Maybe it was because he was seen as the Angel of Death; always restless and searching for new victims. Now that he was human, he didn't have the obligations.  
  
Fingers that should have been callused from hard work were soft. The digits deftly unbuttoned the taupe oxford shirt, letting the material slide from his toned and leanly shaped torso to pile at his feet. The jeans soon joined. Loki smiled slightly to himself. It was interesting to be human. As an angel, he had known he was perfect, just as the other angels were. There was no comparing of features. However, as a human, he had been complimented endlessly by the women who would sometimes come to Jaune Eglisia. The bright peridot orbs that seemed to glow when he was immensely content, blonde hair that framed his boyish face with seemingly impossible innocence. The flesh was just barely bronzed, adding to a unique and etheralness unbefitting for humans. He was often questioned as to why he kept to himself in Jaune Eglisia by the women, why he never ventured from the high walls to the world beyond, why he didn't find himself a girlfriend.  
  
The water from the shower splashed against his skin, giving him a thrill. It was almost worth being human to stand underneath that warm spray, become completely relaxed. Loki lathered the lilac perfumed soap and spread the bubbles over his body. He faintly heard the door opening and Sarah's voice from the other room, telling him she was doing laundry and was gathering his. He waited for the door to shut before he stepped from the small cloister and wrapped a towel around his hips.  
  
The willows outside of the tower swayed musically to and fro, several blossoms from magnolia tree swirled and twirled lethargically. The sun had almost vanished, the twinkling stars in the obsidian blanket gave the impression of millions of diamonds upon an onyx canvas. Loki ran a weary hand through his wet strands, sinking onto the sill of the window that just barely permitted his slender form. He titled his head to stare at the full amber moon, shining like a beacon of hope but to Loki, he was forced to remember a year and half before when his entire life came to an abrupt halt.  
  
A name and an image flashed through his mind. Bartleby. He was the cause of all of Loki's strife, the cause of Loki's mortality, the cause of the pain shooting lances through Loki's heart. Loki retained the scar from the dagger that pierced his side, a reminder of how Bartleby had betrayed him. Loki touched the blemished patch of skin, swallowing hard at the flashes of memories. How could Bartleby have done that? They were best friends; had been while in Heaven and while they were living Wisconsin. Did the arrogance become too much for Bartleby to defend? Had Azrael influenced him too much?  
  
Loki dressed into a worn pair of trousers and a comfortable sweater. He shoved the draperies to a close, the fight deserting him. A tender knock came on the ancient, oak door. Loki opened to see the chaplain from earlier, Caelis. The young man, barely progressed into adulthood, smiled shyly. "Father Raivis asked me to bring you to dinner. You skipped out on breakfast and lunch," Caelis's voice was gently reprimanding. "Tisn't healthy to do so, you know."  
  
"I am aware Cael." Loki chuckled, thrusting his hands into his pockets. Caelis flushed, remaining quiet until Loki struck up conversation. "Its cold," Loki murmured more to himself than Caelis. "Two weeks and fall will have come. Will you be staying or returning home?"  
  
"This is my home now, Loki. I made the decision the second I left Maine to devote my life to serving God and to do so, I must remain at Jaune Eglisia. What of you Loki? Dont you have someone to go home to? A family or wife?"  
  
Loki shook his head wistfully. "No....just as you, I made the decision by doing something incredibly stupid."  
  
"Oh...I shouldn't have pried. Forgive me."  
  
Flustered, Caelis advoided Loki's penetrating gaze. Loki merely quirked a corner of his lip into a wry, half-smile. "It's alright Cael."  
  
"But Father Raivis told me that I shouldn't ask you anything about your personal life and I'm afraid I have overstepped those bounds. I'm only curious; a fault of mine that I cannot escape. My mother used to tell me that I would meet my death by putting my nose where it doesn't belong." Caelis giggled faintly. "That, it would make me mix with the wrong type of people who might take advantage of me or kill me. Though, I dont believe you would hurt me. I dont think you would hurt anyone."  
  
'If only you knew Caelis.' Loki raised a brow at Caelis. "How did you come to that conclusion?"  
  
"Well, because...I've watched you tend the garden." Caelis went bright crimson at the admission, hastily keeping his eyes to the path. "You treat the flowers with the same respect you treat other people. Sister Nadia told me that the other gardeners were rough with the flowers and wouldn't bother with the few stems that broke. I've noticed your extra gentle with them; the petals dont even drop when your with them. It takes patience, caring, and a tremendous amount of considerability."  
  
Loki clapped Caelis on the shoulder, grinning. "That was in depth and considerate. Thank you for being honest with me."  
  
Caelis removed Loki's hand, holding it in his own for several minutes before he spoke. "And whoever hurt you to cause you to regress to such tenderness is undeserving of you but...I can see that you are torn inside because of that person's act. Should you ever see that person again, please do not be stern and harsh. You deserve happiness Loki, dont let a grudge get in the way."  
  
With that, Caelis tromped off towards Father Raivis's quarters, leaving a stunned Loki in his wake. How could Caelis have discovered all of that from just a few hours of gazing at him tend the flowers? Could Loki actually forgive Bartleby for what he did? Right now, Loki wasn't positive. He was just confused.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
What did you think? &_& I tried to do my best.  
  
Review Please! 


End file.
